Where my double D's at?

Today was fabulous. I hung out with Tracey FOREVER. I picked her up from school and we went prom dress shopping. I found a couple at Doria's that I really like, they made me look fat though. Which was lame. But it's only cuz they were really fluffy. I don't know. I might bring my mom to see them sometime. They're too expensive though anyway so I really don't see the point. Speaking of money, I stopped by the espresso stand where I turned in my resume and she took down my name so the owner can see that I stopped by.
Tracey and I went to the cheer try outs which were HILARIOUS!! There was only one or two girls that actually should be cheerleaders, other than that, they all looked awkward. Now I'm extremely tired and I have a really bad headache.
I can't wait til SSPPPRRIIINNNGGGG BRRREEAAKKK!!! Oh baby, it's going to be CRAZY! I'm really excited about it. Anyway, that's all I can type now. I'm way exhausted.

Jalissa

So today was a so-so day again. I found out a couple days ago that Kayla is doing coke now I guess. It bothers me so much becuase I know she's so much better than that. The reason she did it is the most ridiculous part of it all. She said that she did it because she was trying to get with this girl and the girl was asking if she wanted to. I told her that if she was telling me that in person, I would've slapped her. That's so digusting and degrading and she's turning into the perfect Arizona girl. YUCK.
All day I was busy and I felt bad because it was Tal's day off and I was out driving Gen and Amanda out and around everywhere. I probably spent about an hour with him, off and on though, not all at once. It was really lame. What's even more lame? Not having dinner. It's almost 8 and my mom's over at Hank's house because he leaves tomorrow. I'm starving. I'm on the verge of heading out to get some fast food. YYUUUCCKKK.
I'm going to go find some food I guess.

Jalissa

Ugh, so today was so-so. Things would be a lot better if I could go one day without getting mad or frustrated with Talvin. He told me that he's going to try and get more graduation tickets for me and my mom. So basically I was pushed out of the list of people who were on the list of who's going to his graduation. Kind of a shitty feeling. But whatever "family comes first." I sounds so whiny, but I'm really not. I told him that my mom would pay for a ticket. Just because Corey didn't graduate and it's kind of her other son and she'd love to see him graduate. After Tal told me that I was really sad that there's a slight chance that I couldn't be going which would crush me but whatever. Then he sort of threw of fit saying that I "didn't have faith in him." I probably would more often if he gave me a reason to. No offense to him. He always says he's going to try and do this or work this out, but then he just lets people walk all over him and he doesn't stand up for himself. Onto something else.
Hank broke up with my mom last night and she wouldn't stop crying. It made me want to cry. I hate seeing her like this. It's really lame. He's going to Colorado for two weeks for his mothers' surgery and he said that he loves her, he just wants to be friends. You would think that being over fourty a man would learn how to make up better excuses.. but I guess guys never learn. Lame.
Good news, I'm eating Funyuns right now which make me really happy. I'm uber thirsty though, which is sort of lame. I'm waiting for Aimee to IM Tal so I can ask her what part she isn't understanding. That would probably make my day a million times better. Anyway. I'll go.

Jalissa

            I had a really hard time putting myself in a quiet spot for more than five minutes. On a Saturday I took myself the beach so I could finally be completely alone, and it worked perfectly. All I could hear was the sound of the ocean.

            In the time that I was there, and on the drive home, I really tried to put myself in a transcendentalism type mood. When I finally did I realized that everyone is trapped, including myself. Everyone is falling into time and class.

            First of all, nobody can ever really be free when all the society worries about is time. Nobody worries about themselves anymore, they worry about living up to others’ expectations and what others will think about they’re actions. Even when people think they’re living for themselves, they’re not at all. Unfortunately for us, it’s nearly impossible to think freely for ourselves because of all the pressures of society and the pressures of being perfect.

            The pressures of being the ideal American is ridiculous by now. Instead of worrying about what makes us happy and the best thing for ourselves, we’re worried about being in college by nineteen, out of college by twenty two and having children and being married by the age of twenty five. While this may be fine for others, a lot of people would rather not push themselves so quickly. But for those people that don’t like this quick paced lifestyle, you’re told that if you’re not married and have no kids by your thirties, you’ve failed.

            We’re all trapped in a downward spiral of pressure from everyone around us when we’re all supposed to feel safe. Starting from preschool we’re told to dream about what we want to do when we get older and then we’re told that it’s okay if we’re unsure. When you’re a junior in high school you’re expected to know, you’re expected to have colleges listed in your mind. The expectations in society are getting higher and higher and more difficult to achieve.

            Most people think that leaving the society will make things better but they’re just going to another place with more expectations. They might be a little different, but the big idea is still there. Time and class is all we depend on.

            Why is it so terrible to be in a lower class? Who decides what class you’re in? I guess that without classes, they’re wouldn’t be a system. In the system there are three classes; lower, middle and higher. The higher class is the famous people, and the rich of course. Most of which don’t do anything, they just inherit money from their family members. Then there’s the middle class who are just the “average Americans.” These are the ones that work most of their lives trying to make good retirement money. Finally, there’s the lower class people who have a hard time trying to get jobs and when they do get jobs, the jobs aren’t paying very well. Since the lower class people usually don’t have steady jobs until the age of thirty five or later, apparently, they have failed.

            The whole “American Dream” is supposed to be what makes us, as individuals, happy. But we’re not even seen as separate people anymore. We’re just a part of the system that makes the whole society go ‘round. At the end of the day, we’re used by society to supposedly make the world a better place. But in reality, we’re just giving up our freedom to create standards and more expectations. It’s just a cycle that never stops.

            In essence, everyone is trapped and nowhere near getting out of it. We’re stuck in our classes and dependent on time and age. Hopefully, this will all stop when more than a few people realize that a lot of people aren’t happy at all. Until then, we’re just trapped.

I'm not sure how long it's supposed to be, but I'm not writing anymore lol. I was reading it to my little sister and my mom was in the room and afterwards, she just walked out. She didn't say "Good job" or "Nice paper." Or anything like that at all. Not surprising.
Anyway, it's weird that it's 7:45 and it's still somewhat light outside. I love the spring time. I can't wait til it starts to get hotter outside. Anyway, Tal kind of said that we should go to Ocean Shores for spring break. I don't know how he would plan on paying for that. I would hope that he wouldn't pay for that with his paycheck, even though he probably could. Good news, he only works for two days over Spring Break which is awesome.
That's it for now brown cow

Jalissa

This weekend was sort of lame and I'm not sure why. It's just like... bleh. Except for the hick party, that was probably the most entertaining. Today Tal and I went to Value Village and I tried on a couple things. I tried on these really cute capri-type work out pants and I thought they looke SO cute. Then I walked out to show Tal and he said "They look like high-waters." Made me feel like a goonfuck so I went back in the dressing room and didn't buy anything. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOUR CALVES. GOD. They made my ass look fabulous and he didn't even give me the chance to show him before he made me feel stupid. UGH. So that was nice of Tal. No wonder he didn't get laid this weekend. Everyday of this weekend he's made me feel like crap, or bothered me when I obviously don't want to be bothered. I won't go into details though.
On to other fun news, my mom, Rianne, me and Tal are all going to Long Beach at the end of Spring Break. I'm really excited. I went there a while ago with Kayla and it was fabulous! It's such an amazing place. It has a great town and nice little shops. I'm way excited. I think we're going to try and bring Sammy with us.
I gotta go though because I have a paper I have to write for Sparks' class. LAME.

Jalissa